I dont think that without your support I can make it. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. 8. 7. A very concise and articulate post. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. . The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. 1. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. 1. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Stay in the know when we release new content! My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. 2014, 2016, 2019. (My answer might surprise you. Approval is different to acceptance. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. 4 . You are using an out of date browser. It isnt. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. The Psychology of Bragging. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) 5. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. Powered by WordPress. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. 17. by Carolyn Steber. Who is saying this to whom? Thank you. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Basically, its an ambiguous expression. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. That way, all they have to do is show up. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. I was excited to see your reaction. Well done!. The Next Giant Leap. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. Can't you do something different?" 1. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Second, he must know you well. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Congratulations to our dearest son. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. And guess what? A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. The Proud Boys . By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. 14. "I had no idea". 5. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. The words hit me like a . What is BBC Future? Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. It makes a difference I think. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? But this seems less common. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. 14. "I wish I had met you. 4. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. 4. This post was actually very helpful for me! Youre my friend, not my parents! Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. Its powerful. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. Compare: "Oh bear!" Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. Set realistic goals. "Nothing is ever wrong. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. It's nothing bad or unusual. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. 12. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, You reject that person's generosity. I dont think there is a neutral position. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt.