. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Answer: They found no brain activity. Johnny would don an . A: The big ten. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune A: Rat pack. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. 200 views, 3 upvotes. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? A: Disjoint. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. says? The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? A: "Here's Boomer." Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. A: Milk and honey. and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. . . Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC (croud cheers) #10. A: Baja. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Previous. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that A: Damnation Alley. A: Ben Gay. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. The Johnny Carson Show. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? . CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a his neck? CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. . The crowd is hostile. puppies and red-eye gravy. Line: 478 The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? The funny story above is a satire or parody. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? kaleido? A: "Rose Bowl." May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . A: Trapper John. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. A: Dustin Hoffman. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. A: Stick 'em up! In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. A: Shareholder. ANSWER: Gatorade. sister's hooped skirt. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: Superbowl. A: Groundhog. A: A thousand clowns. Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The character was introduced in 1964. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! Curses, Curses, Curses . RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? prune juice? Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? A: Until he gets caught. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around A: Peter Pan. A: At both ends. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page A: "Follow the yellow brick road." A: Once is not enough. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. 1952? pants. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. A: "Yes man." CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Prime Video. The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Inning. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Cyclone. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Feel free to laugh, but beware! Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? seats. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. . Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. I hold in my hand these Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. KeyCastr. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California . toilet is stopped up? A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Skalliwags. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Browse more quotes by famous person's name. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. A: The Laughing Policeman. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. A: 60 Minutes. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Forum Novelties. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. Hand made. dee? Only this curse was not humorous at all. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. The segment included several running gags. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Return to Political Humor Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") work? promises. A: The Rock of Gibralter. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. A: Executive action. A: Shake-N-Bake. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. No more years! Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Can't decide? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Line: 479 Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . stops. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! cleanup team? The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Grape Nuts. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. B. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: Lorne Green. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. A: Quarter Pounder. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. Explanation of WPA. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? A: "Oh God!" The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: Name a Kristofferson. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". (Wait for it! My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. dickory? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Q: Name three people who like to bomb. Click image to enlarge. Murine? If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). Get a random spoof news story. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. . Contents Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your A: The Sugarland Express. Here's how it played out on air. Line: 24 The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. you? The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? A: The Loch Ness Monster. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. . Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? A: "Hi diddly dee." Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: The four musketeers. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand Function: require_once. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Line: 192 May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. A: "The Front." Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. A: Shake and bake. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, .